Me Being Me

It's hard to understand what it's like to be me
I appear to sit around, and observe silently
Not realizing what exactly is my reason
For the shit i do, It's not like I'm the seasons
Being able to predict what will exactly happen
Whether it'll snow or the beach will be crackin'
But that shit ain't the purpose for what I'm about to say
These people don't know what it's like to live a day
In the shoes of a person who enjoys his grief
So listen real close, cuz imma make this brief

I enjoy self-loating and what not
It's just the way I am, so don't try and change me
The person I've become, is who to blame see
Constantly looking down on myself you see
For anything else is merely a bust
It's a waste of my time, if it doesn't make me blue
And black on the inside, it's merely who
I've become, it's the person that i love to hate
Bitches get off my back who don't appreciate
A little bit of depression can go a long way
To give you that edge, to make it through the day
What i am saying may seem quite hypocritical
For those who are alone please don't get spiritual
Cuz you see that's the difference between you and me
I enjoy this feeling, not having to worry

And now i will get to more of my point
The purpose of this speech that I did appoint
I don't care about whether or not im well liked
I don't give a fuck if you have to hit me with a spiked
Drink if you must, take advantage of me
So you can try to understand this person you see
In addition to self-loathing i enjoy a buzz
A rush if you must, from this simple drug
It's not like anything anyone has taken
It gives me the chills, it gets my heart achin'
Makes me feel on top of the fuckin world
Yet at the same time, i get a sense of this curled
Up person sitting up against a corner
Rockin back and forth, no i don't got a boner
This person is what i have become
Staying up late, cuz i can't get none
Can't catch them Z's, won't count those sheep
I was never one to listen to others speak
About different ways to try and get better
My life is ordinary, like some cheddar
Cheez won't you please get off my fuckin back
I don't need any help, and I never will
Cuz these feelings i get, they are my favorite thrill

And now lemme take the time to wind this down
I hope that you understand some of what i said
I was never one for being all that organized
Shit i can't even rhyme most the time
But that has never stopped me from being me
I enjoy this fucked up person that i've come to be
They call me Lost for short, and that's what i enjoy
Cuz it is who i am, it is what i am
I have no idea what exactly's going on
As i drift each day as if I'm at sea
So when you see me, please, don't say anything
About the way i act, or the shit i say
It's just me being me, enjoying my rush
Of this drug called manic, and this name of Lost