ugly house

Lookin off into corners can be hazardous

Not paying attention to what's in front, oblivious

No idea who or what, when how or why

Shit went down, don't even bother to lie

Cuz not Man-ing up can be quite a nuisance

When trying to identify just who you're losin

Gaining everything back before even stepping forward

Not a moment sooner, to accept your reward

Before another one's dead at the drop of a pin

Shattered existence, another 'late breaking' at ten

And yet you sit back, viewing others through another prism

As if you could hide your entire life in one of 'em

These various ongoings that never seem to be connected

All come full-circle when you get infected

You see, life is funny with what tends to happen

Random shit goes down, you better hope you can snap him

Back into reality cuz fantasy isn't fun

Finding out shit's fake is depressing son

So take a second to listen to your own thoughts

They are trying to tell you what your body does not

As you shop when you cop and adopt what you drop

Those lame ass excuses tend to never shock

And the corner's perception of what you've become

Is some fucked up kid that is often the only one

Since no one else is there for you to show off your new hair

As you continue to stare at what is clearly not there

You hesitate for a moment, then feel all self-absorbed

Into what can best be described as a feeling, but unsure

You continue on your way, through that wretched path

Until you are stuck, in front, of someone else's wrath

You see, life is funny with what tends to happen

Random shit goes down, you better hope you can snap him

Back into reality cuz fantasy isn't fun

Finding out shit's fake is depressing son

So you find yourself in front of something lost

It's been found before, but it always has a cost

Another riddle? Complexities are always the most fun

Except for those that end with a gun

Cuz a smoking bullet is not what's best for them

Not realizing that not everything is pretend

There are some things that you simply can't unsee or undo

Like walking in on your girl and her new boo

Putting you in a place of sheer misery

Black and blues woes are inevitably

Consuming souls of those that drift

Without ever finding someone to make love with

They are the people that flock here

They are the people that others should fear

You see, life is funny with what tends to happen

Random shit goes down, you better hope you can snap him

Back into reality cuz fantasy isn't fun

Finding out shit's fake is depressing son

Rants of Old

When i react

To this relapse

Everytime that i hit that

The feedback

That brings back

Those fuckin memories back

I see that

You're not bad

For me to try and speak back

About that

You triple stacked

And now that you've left black

And blue

I choose

To never speak to you

You left me

You broke me

I'll never be the same thing

That you met

When i was left

Completely alone and instead

You left for

Some more score

Those nights back in '04

I was so pissed

I was depressed

Frozen in time, in distress

And now that

I'm free of that

I can't seem to move on from the past

Cuz at the end of the day we are all in bed alone

Thinking to ourselves about whether we should roam

Or stay where we are, since life is quite content

But if you piss people off, there wont be any left

So when you think about all the shit that you've gone through

Don't hesitate to remind yourself about all the good done to you

Since no one really cares whether you're happy or not

Everyone's just selfish, keeping to themselves alot

So leave me here alone

Cuz nobody really knows

Just how I've come to grow

So depressed and so alone

It's all I've really known

I try to pass a clone

Of myself stuck in a zone

Just merely getting by

Not distracted by the light

As so many others fight

To try and get through this life

I'll just take another hit

Try and get me to quit

I won't ever fear this shit

Cuz depression is my bitch

And I'll stab it til it bleeds

That fuckin crimson red stream

That comes to surface just to breath

Stare back at me as I seethe

Out every possible emotion

Of anger, passion, and commotion

This shit spreads like lotion

Covering up then the motion

Of another stray stream

That always leads back to me

I don't fight it cuz I need

The bitterness seems to feed

The inner hatred and greed

That overwhelms me as I see

Depression is a state of mind

If you give it enough time

It will consume you like lime

-stone engulfs caves and mines

So don't feel sympathy towards me

Cuz I like this life I lead

I bleed when I bleed

And that's all I can really be

i REALLY need to write on here more >.<

Masochism

Some people enjoy things that others simply do not

For whatever reason people have preference of what they want

They like to do things that others simply despise

No matter what it is it's always tough to disguise

To hide the fact from others about their addiction

To their flavor of the week, what they do with conviction

Cuz no matter what, you can't change how these people act

Since they react without reason, simply trying to enact

What they percieve as fact and reality

At the end of the day, they simply feed their need

So when you see me acting in a weird ass way

Don't think to yourself about how much you used to praise

This torn up person that has fallen from existence

Who feeds his addiction without trying to resist it

It's that drug

It's my life

It's the rush

That gets me high

So pass me by

One last time

And don't judge

Since I won't budge

From this stance

Cuz when you glance

You better believe that you'll see

I'll be that fuckin person that I hate

That very same person on that lame ass date

It gets me going

Blood flowing

Heart races

I can't pace this

I feed the greed

I start to see

What I've become

What I'll be

Cuz when I'm buzzing

Thoughts running

I wanna escape it

I can't stand it

So sit back and relax

Cuz Imma try and bring me back

From this hatred, from this low

I can't stand it, I wanna go

Jump deck

Before I wreck

Another person, another soul

So when i roll

Try to envision

A different person

From what I am

Cuz I can't stand this man

What I've become, what I am

It's that drug

It's my life

It's the rush

That gets me high

So pass me by

One last time

And don't judge

Since I won't budge

From this stance

Cuz when you glance

You better believe that you'll see

I'll be that fuckin person that I hate

That very same person on that lame ass date

It's a needle of heroin

Shot straight up from my left hand

A stab of PCP

Straight into my right cheek

It's a line, it's a bowl

It's whatever that'll get me to stroll

Along the timeline of life

Diverting me from a wife

Cuz when I try to be myself

I just get brought back to hell

To the very same place

Of where i first lost that race

I can't even try to pace

You can see it on my face

I enjoy this drug simply way too much

Being a masochist is like doing a lethal drug

an OLD verse, for an old blog

High as fuck and that's all that matters

Cuz when i attack, don't even be flattered

By the curious shit that i speak or say

You don't understand when i speak about the day

The day of the week that just seems to get by

No one really knows just exactly why

Everything happens exactly the way it does

Cuz when people get by, no one really goes

Against just what the norm is, always contending

To the various shit that is constantly pretending

To lead the way of life that we should all follow

Please o Please, don't follow that hollow

Form of lifestyle that just shouldn't exist

People pretend to co-exist

With the very etentites that create this society

The very entities that control us, the proprietary

The very same people that attempt to take us down

Those against us will constantly frown

Upon the very people we have become

Since you are alone, I am merely one.

why?

High as fuck and that's all that matters

Cuz when i attack, don't even be flattered

By the various shit that i speak or say

You don't understand when i speak about the day

The day of the week that just seems to get by

No one really knows just exactly why

Everything happens exactly the way it does

Cuz when people get by, no one really goes

Against just what the norm is, always contending

To the various shit that is constantly pretending

To be the way of life that we should all follow

Please o Please, don't follow that hollow

Form of lifestyle that just shouldn't exist

People pretend to co-exist

With the very etentites that create this society

The very entities that control us or proprietary

The very same people that attempt to take us down

Those against us constantly frown

Upon the very people we have become

Since you are alone, I am merely one.

Too. 4Hore. Won.

Life...it's whatever you want it to be

Being the very thing you try to live free

Freeing you from any hardships and trouble

Troubling to know that you can't always control em

Them being the problems that arise each day

Daily you question how to make your way

Weighing each and every option that you have

Having only a few choices makes you mad

Mad crazy obstacles constantly block your path
Paths that never seem to reveal their wrath

Wrath merely just one of the seven deadly sins

Sins thrown in any of the nearby trash bins

Inner darkness shields the light

Warmth not only physical but mental

Bleakness engulfs the soul

Like a blanket putting out the flames

With melancholy comes a sort of resolve

The edge that you need to overcome

Allowing yourself to be that asshole

The funny thing about life is it's paradoxes

What you think is always wrong

You have to do the opposite

That bitter cold that overwhelms you

Is actually the very thing you needed to get through